Snow is just part of the fun for the Cheetah Running Club.
Tossing your cookies. Upchuck. Call it by the more technical name of regurgitation if you will, but there's something about kids and the subject of vomit that go together like a whoopee cushion and a derriere.

So it was unsurprising that during a Burton Elementary School assembly (sponsored by the school's Cheetahs Running Club), that the first question asked of Hansons-Brooks Running Team members Clint Verran and Brian Sell was, "Have you ever thrown up during a race?"

Of course these children were way too young to remember the fascinating footage of 1996 U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials winner Bob Kempainen tossing his cookies during the race and never once going off stride, let alone getting any on his shirt. That piece of information might be a better way to impress an eight-year-old, who might not yet grasp the significance of Brian and Clint both having run marathons in about 2:14.

Before delving further into the entertaining assembly Clint and Brian put on (where they also adroitly answered the second question posed, "Have you ever had to go to the bathroom during a race?"), let's go back to the starting line. Why were two professional runners at the Burton School gymnasium (in Huntington Woods) in front of enthusiastic students wearing Cheetahs Running Club t-shirts and/or their Gobble, Gobble Race award medals at 8:30 this Thursday morning?

It began last spring, when, after having read one too many articles on the lack of exercise among children, it seemed to me like a good idea to start a recess running program at my daughter's elementary school.

After meeting with principal Mary Beth Fitzpatrick and getting her full support, I launched plans to get the program "running" in fall and began letting parents know the Cheetahs Club was coming.

By mid-August all I had done to start the club was acquire the crucial information of what time recess began at school. A nice first step, but admittedly one that should have launched a few other steps about eight weeks earlier.

I debated abandoning the idea and saving face by moving my family to another town, then dove head-first into getting things going.

We created an incentive program whereby children could accumulate miles (running around the school's dirt track) and earn prizes (plastic toe tokens for every two miles, 10 miles for a Cheetahs wristband, 15 miles for a Cheetahs water bottle, 20 miles for a Cheetahs t-shirt, an all- expense paid trip to Bermuda for 50 miles - OK, I made that last one up, but you get the carrot-stick enticement concept).

The program would take place during lunchtime recess each Tuesday and Friday. Children would run with a small card containing numbers on each side, to be stamped with a star as they finished laps.

The Cheetah Running Club presents Brian Sell and Clint Verran of the Hansons Brooks Distance Project with club T-shirts.
Key instructions were to head counter-clockwise on the track, i.e. keep making left turns. It was also important to convince them we had videotapes going that I reviewed every night to weed out aspiring Rosie Ruiz imitators.

Things happened I hadn't planned for, such as the controversy when some children loved running so much they started speed eating through their lunches in about 1.6 seconds (that's dedication).

After watching the initial stampede of more than 350 children charging out the school doors to grab their mileage cards and get going, I quickly surmised lots more volunteers would be critical. That or I might accidentally lose an appendage to a pack of overly-excited second graders. Thankfully, the Burton School community turned out dedicated parent volunteers in droves, which enabled the program to work efficiently and left my extremities intact.

I also erroneously calculated that no child would accumulate 20 miles by Thanksgiving, which was about as accurate as Dewey defeats Truman. A few weeks into the program, t-shirts were flying out to the children faster than candy being scooped up from a smashed pinata. By November, one Cheetah had already covered 50 miles, while others did Energizer Bunny imitations around the track on each Cheetahs day.

As their enthusiasm continued, I contacted Keith Hanson of Hansons Running Shops (who, with his brother Kevin, has done so much for the sport of running) to see if we could get one of the Hansons-Brooks team members to talk to our kids at school. Not only did Keith immediately answer, "Sure," he also graciously supplied not one but two speakers in Clint and Brian, who were wonderful with the children.

Our carrot-stick approach will need to be modified, as we'd have to move up to offering a guest shot on Nickelodeon's "Drake & Josh" TV show to keep certain kids involved. But we'll discover (as will they) which children are participating for the simple joy of running. They may even find the natural act of putting one foot in front of the other is something for which they can have a passion.

If they do, we'll have conveyed to them the secret we runners know so well. For there's not much better than a lifelong love of running. Brian and Clint shared that message nicely, even at their 120-miles-a-week regimen.

Good thing they're a wee bit above the age frame for the Cheetahs, since they'd wipe out my toe tokens supply pretty quickly.

Bob Schwartz is a syndicated humor writer whose essays have appeared in more than 150 magazines. The Huntington Woods resident is author of the best-selling book "I Run, Therefore I Am - NUTS!" and his latest book, a humorous look at parenting, is entitled "Would Somebody Please Send Me to My Room!" Bob can be reached at bob@schwartzhumor.com. MR